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” He replied, “Look, I am a bus driver, women these days are highly educated and no one wants to marry an uneducated bus driver. Time and years are flying by and I want a family.” After all, a nice guy, who said he was not looking for a housewife who would cook for him, but someone who would be ready to have a family. Over 80% of Thai immigrants to Sweden are coming as a result of family reunions of Swedish men marrying Thai wives.The magazine The Economist published an article on 3rd September this year with the title, “I don´t”, describing how most Japanese who want to get married find it hard to accomplish their goal.Jennifer Kumar, Managing Director of Authentic Journeys helps Indians build the skills to be confident and successful in managing business relationships with Americans.She works with Indians in India and Indian expats (NRIs) in the US over Skype, telephone or other VOIP programs.Through the last fifteen years of being involved in the Indian community and interacting with many non-Indian, Western,and white women who struggle with relationships and commitments with their Indian boyfriends, I share the top three mistakes that most of these women make while trying to overcome the challenges of acceptance from their Indian boyfriend or to-be's family.Many Americans hold an ideal that regardless of social standing, culture, economic status, educational background and religion, love will overcome all these problems and make everything ‘ok.’ This can be true if and only if the couple have extensive discussions before marriage about expectations after marriage and into the long term, such as both partners’ career aspirations, family planning, traditions, values, choosing the place to live among many other variables.
The problem here is that, in many Indian’s minds, they may not commit to any of these forms of affection until their parents have given the go-ahead.
Many say “The first year of marriage is the hardest.” This is often said among Americans who marry other Americans – not in a typical cross-cultural relationship.
Yes, the first year of marriage can be the hardest even when the mindsets, environment and communication challenges seem very similar.
To many Westerners, the statement “I love you” often stands for a long-term commitment.
That is one reason why many American programs broach the hard choices people make and situations that arise when one partner says “I love you” and the other isn’t ready to say it yet.
Life will NOT be easy, the romanticism and exoticism will die fast and love may not conquer all when you land up in India and are in the midst of culture shock and your new family doesn’t approach life the same way as you.