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Posted by / 19-May-2017 07:50

Perhaps Chris might even flirt and tease with Pat a bit, putting Pat off for a minute, then offering a surprise.

Over time, Chris would satisfy Pat enough to build a great friendship.

Or, as the authors note, "These results demonstrate how dissociable psychological subsystems for wanting and liking can be driven in opposite directions" (p. Too much nice guy (or gal) pleasing and you may find yourself killing attraction and desire in your partner.

Too much bad boy (or girl) teasing, though, and you may find that your passionate lover doesn't really like you very much.

The key is balance—intermittent rewards and a bit of tension. Consider three scnarios for the partners Chris and Pat: Every time Pat even hints at a want or need, Chris is quick to fill it.

In other words, being easy, congenial, and friendly made a person more "likeable," but make them likeable.

This finding left me wondering whether this distinction between liking/friendship and desiring/attraction could be behind other romantic issues as well.

Put simply, being denied a reward made people want it more, but like it less when they got it.

In contrast, getting the reward made them like it more, but less motivated to work to obtain more of it. As we can conclude from the research above, passionate love and friendly liking can sometimes conflict with one another.

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In the first experiment, some participants failed to win a prize, while others succeeded.

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