Dating a woman with borderline personality disorder fifty something dating
They are evident in songs, and in TV shows and films, often capturing BPD’s primary traits: fear of abandonment, feeling unlovable, hypersexuality, and impulsive behaviors.Take intense fear of abandonment, one of the main traits of BPD.Despite what these sites want you to believe, mental health disorders are not pretty, decorative, or glamorous.And if there’s any condition that really drives this home, it’s Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which takes the shittiest parts of being mentally unwell and runs a marathon with them.When dating, I spent most of my time fighting similarly reckless impulses, like the day after my (ex) boyfriend dumped me and I eyed my phone maniacally, dialing his number on a bi-minutely basis, thankfully never giving in to letting it ring, but certainly wasting time I should have been using to focus on my (as yet, six years later, un-handed-in) thesis.
Impulsive actions, another defining feature of BPD, also popped up in my relationships.
The song’s protagonist traipses between being hurtful and bullying toward her partner (“How did I become so obnoxious? / I’ve never been this nasty”) to pleading — “Please please don’t leave me.” On the surface it seems counter-intuitive — stop being mean and he won’t leave you — but the nuances run deeper.
Like the club Groucho Marx didn’t want to belong to, if somebody loves you, they must be an idiot because you know — your BPD tells you — that you are fundamentally unlovable.
When it comes to Borderline Personality Disorder, the trope is a prime example of the ways in which women suffering from the condition are dismissed out of hand for experiencing emotions that may be extreme, but that are nonetheless valid.
People diagnosed with BPD are as much as three times more likely to be women than men, which doesn’t help with the inherent misogyny surrounding how people think about the condition.). Dennis who describes himself, without a shimmer of irony, as a “golden god”; who takes being compared to a serial killer as a compliment; who regularly allows trivialities to send him into fits of rage.
While these representations are regularly problematic, there are some that seize the essence of BPD and help to communicate its existence, flattering or otherwise.